Confidence is a skill, a learnable skill.
And a book recommendation: Be Upfront, by Lauren Currie.
I was born on a Sunday. It’s one of the reasons why I am successful at what I do.
That’s the short story.
The slightly longer and psychologically more accurate explanation is this: whenever something positive happened in my life, my grandmother would remind me that a) I had worked for it, and b) I was born on a Sunday, and thus my fairy godmother had sprinkled some extra luck on top.
The result is an unshakeable confidence in my own value. I am good at what I do. I deserve to be heard. My experience is noteworthy and valuable.
The confidence did not disappear the day I realised that not everyone believes in the luck of a Sunday birth. (Can you imagine????).
I accidentally ended up with a positivity spiral. I recognise when things go well, I name them, and I accept them as my due. Because I was born on a Sunday ;)
This kind of confidence is a skill. It requires daily practice. Like saying “Thank you!” when someone compliments you on your presentation - instead of explaining that it wasn’t that impressive because you used AI for the visuals, and really, anyone could have done it. Because that’s not true. You deserve the praise - because you did a great job.
Since you probably don’t have a grandmother who can invent a reason for you to be successful, I have a book recommendation for you: Be Upfront by Lauren Currie.
Book recommendation: Be Upfront. 24 Rules for Life Changing Confidence, by Lauren Currie
Up to puberty, girls and boys are equally confident in their abilities and how they show up in life. Then, media representation and societal expectations set in.
As a woman, you are not pretty enough, not smart enough, not thin enough, too shrill, too selfish, too opinionated to be taken seriously. You are not enough and too much all at once, and as a result, confidence tanks.
Not every woman, not only women. And also, more women stepping into their power with confidence would be great for society.
And that’s what Be UPFRONT is all about. It’s a practical guide to building confidence in a world that often undermines women. Lauren shares the tools, research and stories to help you speak up, take up space, and trust yourself.
So if you didn’t have a grandmother to boost your confidence, you can (pre)order your copy (and learn more about the book) here: https://www.weareupfront.com/be-upfront
Remember, confidence is a skill! Skills can be learned. Skills need to be practised. And the books can give you the tools you need to do exactly that.
And if LinkedIn is your poison of choice, Lauren also shares ideas there, so give her a follow: https://www.linkedin.com/in/laurencurrie/
What I am reflecting on this past week
A collection of links that I think you might enjoy - they made me think, reflect, give me hope, or just evade the world for a little while.
Yesterday at MWC Barcelona, I discovered The Balance Phone, a minimalist smartphone without distractions. It’s smart enough for Tidal (music), Whatsapp, and banking apps, but too dumb for social media or gaming. The perfect option when my kids are old enough.
Friendship and connection continues to be one of my favourite research topics, experiments included. That’s why I enjoy reading articles like this one on How to Weave Friendship Into Everyday Life. Practical! Adaptable!
Abi Awomosu wrote this insightful post about the current storytelling from people with power in AI: “And the one question you never ask, when you’re busy defending your worth against a machine, is: why are they the only ones making predictions about everyone except themselves?” It’s a very valid question!
If you want to be a good writer, read more!
And last, but not least - I just re-read the entire Indranan War triology followed by the subsequent Farian War trilogy, by K.B. Wagers. The first book is “Behind The Throne”. So if you want to read something space opera with fantasy, friendship over romantic relationship, matriarchy coded (flaws included), this is your next month(s) covered.
Thank you so much for this post. I am one of those people that has the skill to inspire some and have a coffee with a person once in her life to then get an email from said person thanking me because that chat changed their life (literally). And still I find myself struggling with navigating my own life in some aspects. Inconsistent confidence being one of them. My copy of the book is on the way and I can't wait to get my hands on it!