Today I ran 27km.
It’s half of what I signed up for back in August 2022.
Changing the registration from an ultramarathon to the shorter half marathon was one of the most difficult decisions I’ve taken, certainly this year. Especially taking into account that I had dutifully followed my training plan.
And yet, three weeks ago, on a 24km training run in the mountains close to home, I had an epiphany.
Three to four hours of running in the mountains is the perfect distance for me to center myself.
Doubling or tripling the distance wouldn’t add more clarity to my mind.
It would simply increase the toll on my body and take away precious time and energy I’d rather spend on my community.
Just because I can, doesn’t mean it’s the best use of my time and energy.
Such an obvious statement. Such a simple decision.
Simple is rarely easy though, and I spent a better part of the week convincing myself that I can, indeed, change a goal.
Realigning my goal with my priorities doesn’t make me a quitter. (And if anyone felt disappointed at my decision to change the distance - they could always run the distance themselves.)
Then - why was it so difficult? Because of identities.
We love to attach what we do to who we are
Changing the running distance meant I am letting go of a part of my identity I had been holding on to even after having kids changed my relationship with time. It’s only now, 6 years after my last ultra experience that I’ve accepted that I am not an ultrarunner anymore.
I am in the process of adjusting to a new identity: I am a trail runner. I enjoy 20-30km distances. I run on trails to think, not to prove anything to anyone.
Not a big deal right? And yet, the ramifications are profound: it affects the newsletters I read, the books that I buy, the locations I scope out for training, the way I plan my week, my availability for weekend plans, my energy level, and the way I eat.
Are your goals still aligned with your priorities?
I signed up for that ultra marathon in August 2022 - about a month after my father had passed away. I needed a regular and predictable activity that would take me into nature as often and as long as possible, so I could think, cry, scream, and process my pain on the ascends, rediscovering joy as I fly down on the other side. Signing up for that race gave me the north star to do just that.
The goal served it’s purpose. I’ve learned to dance with the grief, to run with it. And I found my balance without having to go the whole ultra distance.
Where are your priorities misaligned with your goals?
Productivity goals, growth goals, hiring goals, content goals - we all set them at a specific point in time with a specific set of priorities in mind.
And sometimes it’s time to go back to the initial premise: why did you choose that goal in the first place, and is that still what you need and want to do today?
Remember, just because you can doesn’t mean you have to.
And: you can change your mind about things! It doesn’t mean you are a failure or a quitter. It means you learned something.
About the Empress of Remote
👑 I am Valentina Thörner, Leadership Expert for Distributed Teams.
✨ Supporting Product / Ops leaders optimizing their team engagement and retention.
✨ Keynote speaker for companies who want to motivate and kickstart change.
*️⃣ Find out more: https://linktr.ee/empressofremote