Modeling remote work-life mindfulness as a manager
The current wave of work from home policies comes with a lack of default visibility, meetings taking over valuable work-time, and blurred boundaries between work and home. Employees look up to their managers and to leadership to figure out how they are supposed to handle this new situation. When work is just a mouse click away, it’s tempting to escape into work. When home is full of distractions, concentration can be hard to come by.
As a manager, it’s your responsibility to model a healthy work-life integration. Talking about schedules and boundaries in 1-1s is not enough, if you then send urgent emails on Sunday morning. Reiterating the importance of disconnection won’t work if you are obviously bone tired due to lack of sleep.
So here are some recommendations that you can use to model a mindful relationship with work. Visibility here is key, your colleagues need to see what you are doing in order to take cues for themselves.
Keep consistent and visible “availability” schedules
You don’t need to be available all the time. In an office there are also moments when you’d simply close the door to concentrate. However, make sure that you are consistent as to when you are available. Outside of 1-1s, maybe you are usually available in the morning hours, or maybe you are more of an afternoon connector. Make sure that you consistently “show up” in conversations and chat channels - not the entire day, but during specific times of the day.
Block focus time into your calendar every single week
Your agenda will include as many meetings as can physically fit on the weekly schedule. This means that you’ll have to block out your focus time ahead of time. Block out a 2-3 hour block at least twice a week, as if you were booking a meeting with yourself. Make it recurring and defend those hours. You value to the company is not spending the maximum amount of time in meetings.
Decline meetings with a reason and some content
You probably do not need to attend all meetings that you’ve been invited to. Some could be an email, some just require your input, but not your presence, some might not even have an agenda. Instead of default-accepting all meeting invites, evaluate whether you really need to be there. If you decide not to attend, decline the meeting and explain why you are declining.
A meeting decline can be a long email. Just because your calendar gives limited space to decline, does not mean you can’t follow up with a longer message. Explain why you are not attending, and add the information that the meeting organizer might need from you, even if you are absent. Maybe you want to share your opinion, the update on a project you are working on that could impact the topic, additional resources, or the recommendation of another expert. And then request a summary after the meeting.
Take real breaks
At least once a quarter, take a long weekend where you do not work. Plan those breaks in advance, enjoy the period of looking forward to your little get-away (or stay-at-home). Make sure to communicate your absence loud and wide, not only so people know that you aren’t around, but also so that they see that it’s normal and accepted to take time off.
Take stock at the end of the day
Call it a gratitude journal, a one-sentence-summary, a diary. The practice to write down some thoughts about how the day went can be really powerful as you look back. I personally use roamresearch and tag the entries with the day (e.g. #Mar4). This means that next year, I can easily compare my entry from this year, with the one I am writing next year and see how far I’ve come.
If you are into paper, I’ve had great experience with The Happiness Journal: A 5 Year Project (affiliate link) by Gretchen Rubin.
Invest in your relationships
Even if you are mega introverted, you are still human - and that makes you a social being. Dedicate time to your people outside of work, your partner(s), your friends, your significant contacts. Write postcards, send gifs, organize pictionary zoom calls, or maybe even have a distanced walk in the park.
Relationships don’t “just” happen, they require a minimum of attention. Put a reminder into your calendar if needed - just make sure you keep in touch. And share your strategies with your team.
Get a non-screen dependent hobby
I’ve started to pick up the Cello again, following a Udemy course to get back into the practice. I’ve also experimented with a 30-day-Yoga challenge, and done all the puzzles I could get my hands on. Remember, you don’t have to be good at your hobbies, you just have to enjoy them! So find something physical you can enjoy so you can disconnect from work.
Openly share what you are working on
It’s easy to disappear for a week and then just share your final ideas - and it leaves your team stranded as to what they should be focussing on. Set yourself goals and realistic focus areas. Share your progress, your challenges, your wins. Make your team participant of what you are working on, so they have a guideline on how to organize their own approach to work from home.
Model the behaviour that you want to see in people
People will follow your lead, so make sure you are leading them in the direction you want them to develop into. Live, what you expect from others: write thoughtful answers on Slack, do quick check-ins during the week, make time for insightful comments to meeting invites when you can’t attend, be visibly prepared when you can attend. And then figure out what works for you as a leader and do more of that.