Is this a real tiara? How I turned a bridal accessory into a personal mission statement
A couple of years ago I started to wear a tiara when speaking at conferences. The sparkles made it easier to find me after a presentation to ask questions. I then accepted a dare to wear a tiara during an entire conference as an attendee. I won that bottle of wine, and realized something interesting: The tiara had served as a great conversation starter with other attendees.
At that first conference, I talked to more fellow attendees than ever before. It didn’t feel forced either. It turns out that transitioning from musings on best tiara providers to serious discussions around tech leadership isn’t that difficult. The tiara made me more approachable and less intimidating.
Be the empress you always imagined
That’s when I started to wear the tiara during work video calls, with some clients, on Instagram. My vision of what it means to be an empress are quite specific - and they are closely connected to efficient yet friendly leadership. The tiara ends up being a visual and haptic reminder of my aspirations, both as a person and as a leader.
The empress knows what’s going on in her realm. She works closely with advisors and the nobility. At the same time she’s aware that at the end of the day, the empire’s prosperity is her responsibility, and so is the welfare of the people. She listens to advisors and her subjects before making decisions, but she isn’t afraid to act immediately if the situation requires moving quickly. Being part of her Court is an honour and greatly appreciated.
In a nutshell, the tiara reminds me to stand up straight, listen attentively, trust myself, commit to what I’ve chosen to do, without forgetting that the winter ball is just as much part of Court life as is daily regency.
It also reminds me and everyone else not take ourselves too seriously.
Finding the right people
If the previous paragraph hasn’t scared you away, the tiara has been effective once again. I do pay quite a bit of attention to how people react to me wearing the tiara - it’s a quick check to detect a sense of humor. Some will smile and engage in a conversation about the very tiara before moving to the real topic. Some will not give it any importance and go right down to business. And then there are a few people who refuse to take me seriously, relying on a sarcastic comment or raised eyebrows. While I understand their need for conformity, these are usually not people I’d enjoy working with. So I appreciate the early warning.
By now, the tiara has become a key part of my personal branding - so much so that I actually own more than one version. Oh, and to answer the question - yes, it is a real tiara. You are not imagining things.