Where does motivation come from: The Four Tendencies
A take on Gretchen Rubin's book on workplace motivation
Another oldie-but-goldie recovered from my old blog. This one was originally published on Feb 17, 2018. Very much pre-pandemic. At the time I was leading a team of about ten indivudal contributors, distributed from Sweden all the way to South Africa, covering time zones from UTC to UTC+5.5.
The advantage of that level of diversity is the complete absence of a majority. I ended up digging really deep into the Culture Map by Erin Meyer and how to adapt it to a fully remote environment. At the same time I had to get to know my individual team members really well, without relying on cultural stereotypes. Gretchen Rubin’s work on “The Four Tendencies” was the pragmatic input that I needed at the time. So here you go, my learnings from the Four Tendencies, which is basically a blueprint for understanding motivation in the work place.
Using The Four Tendencies in Real Life
I started using Gretchen Rubin’s framework on the four tendencies right after devouring the book in Octobre 2017. It was transformative for my 1:1s, taking a lot of stress out of the interactions. Knowing what motivates them (and me!) brought clarity: clarity that I channelled into more effective communication – and patience. [Here’s more about the book.]
In a nutshell, the book is about motivation - and if you aren’t quite sure how to think about motivation for yourself, you can take the quiz here: https://gretchenrubin.com/quiz/the-four-tendencies-quiz.
What motivates you to (or makes you) get up in the morning?
Is it the pressure to get to work on time? Is it your New Year’s Resolution to meditate before everybody else gets up? Is it your conviction that you are a better human being if you go for a run before facing humanity? Is it the sunshine leaking through the window, making you want to get up and enjoy the day? The answer to the question is the basic principle of the four tendency framework: what makes you take action?
Motivation comes in two types: outer expectations (e.g. a deadline, the dog threatening to pee on your carpet) and inner expectations (the above mentioned New Year’s Resolution). Most people respond better to one or the other type. Some respond to both, and some to none.
Knowing what motivates yourself can help you to set up systems that make your life easier.
Knowing what motivates those around you gives you the ability to support them.
Do you need accountability or do you need conviction?
Before diving into the four tendencies, let me reiterate this: there is no judgement in either of these types. I do acknowledge that certain types of motivation can set you up for success in specific environments, so there seem to be some unfair advantages attached to being an “obliger” or an “upholder”.
Or maybe changing the environment is the key to success.
The framework simply helps to answer the question: how can I best frame a challenge/expectation so this specific person can follow through. The specific person could be you, or your coworker, or your spouse.
If you’ve taken the quiz, you’ll have the answer for yourself. For comparison, here are the four types:
Upholders: What’s on the to-do list today? They respond easily to both outer and inner expectations. Whether you tell them or they’ve decided themselves: they’ll get it done. They thrive on exceeding expectations. [video introduction | podcast episode]
Questioners: What needs to get done today? They rely on their internal motivation and priorize based on what makes sense to them. They’ll do what you ask them if, and only if they accept the reasoning behind the decision. They need to turn external expectations into internal motivation. [video introduction | podcast episode]
Obligers: What do I have to do today? They readily meet outer expectations, but have trouble following through on their personal goals. They’d always sacrifice their evening run to help you out with baking that birthday cake. They thrive on external accountability. [video introduction | podcast episode]
Rebels: What do I want to do today? They want to do what they want at all times and resist if someone tells them to do something – they might actually do the opposite. The thrive on engaging how the here and now feels to them. [video introduction | podcast episode]
How to use this framework in real life
Initially, I started to first use the Four Tendencies framework only for myself (I am a Questioner). Then I realized, it could be really helpful working with my team. I suddenly understood, why some people felt so easy to work with, while I didn’t seem to be able to connect with others.
Until that book, I was tempted to see the frequent questions of a team member as a challenge to my authority. Now I understand they just needed more information to get on board with the changes. I understood that accountability is crucial to some, but not required for others. As a result, I adjusted my communication – not only at work.
How to enjoy interacting with a Upholders
I am an Upholder (no surprise for anyone who knows me). Whether something has been entrusted to me, or I’ve decided that this is the right thing to do - it will get done. Now, I do get slightly annoyed if others do not see the wisdom in processes, don’t follow the rules, or can’t set up a simply to do list. How hard can it be?
That’s the thing: If you have an Upholder on your team, easy peasy. Performance is not an issue. They deliver, they get the job done, and if they can improve the process while at it, they’ll do so. And they will also get upset if others don’t live up to their standards.
If someone in your life is an upholder, cut them some slack for taking life so serious. You might even add some “expectations to have fun on the weekend” to break their routine a bit (though in this case, be prepared for regular perfectly organized road trips that align with their personal goal to get fitter).
Someone gave me this book recently, so that I could “learn” how to hang out and kill time. For now it’s sitting prettily on the table next to my sofa.
How to enjoy interacting with a Questioner
Questioners want (NEED!) to understand what’s going on. They go deep into the rabbit hole of research and ALL THE DETAILS before deciding what to do. Once they’ve decided though, they move to action. Whether they have the patience to explain to you how they got to their decision is a totally different story though.
If you live or work with a Questioner, make sure to explain the exact reasoning behind your decisions, appealing to their own rational thought process and inner motivation. If you manage to explain the why, it’s easier for them to see the sense in your decision and decide this is actually the right thing to do. Arbitrary requests won’t work, and pulling rank or hierarchy won’t do much good either.
How to enjoy interacting with an Obliger
Obligers are by far the most common tendency. They are great to work and live with, because they will always put your requests first – even at the expense of their own health and happiness.
For Obligers it’s vital to add external accountability to all their plans: be it through finding a running buddy or signing up for language classes with a teacher. If you have an obliger on your team, make sure to clearly state your requests, and to acknowledge their successes. Tell them when you don’t need them just as much as when you need them, since their default is to slip into servant mode a wee bit too fast.
How to enjoy interacting with a Rebel
Rebels tend to frustrate others and themselves with their inability to follow the rules and honor any kind of expectations. Very often, they’ll actually go out of their way to do the very opposite of what they are supposed to do, just because. Instead of constantly fighting with your favourite Rebel, learn to make plans without them – while keeping the option open for them to join. At work, make sure to include them into projects that require thinking outside the box and to get their feedback on changes before they are introduced.
Want to know more? If this sounds like a framework that could be helpful for your team, get the book: The Four Tendencies: The Indispensable Personality Profiles That Reveal How to Make Your Life Better (and Other People’s Lives Better, Too)
Reading back through that initial writeup, I can see connections between different types of neurodivergence and how it intersects with motivation and expectations of self. At the time though, the idea of being neurospicy hadn’t even crossed my mind - and even if it had, I probably wasn’t equipped to have conversations about that topic with a highly distributed and intercultural team.
And even today, “motivation” is probably a safer and more accessible topic for most team members that does not require disclosure of any type. Maybe it doesn’t really matter why people act the way they act, but rather how to help them act they way they themselves want to act.
PS: More about me at https://valentinathoerner.com