Why change is hard and what that says about identity
On system survival, change management, and identity shifts
Welcome to RemoteThatWorks, a weekly-ish newsletter hand-typed by the Valentina Thörner, the Empress of Remote herself. I talk about product leadership (and ops), process design, and people (and their relationships). Proudly non-AI, and proudly all-opinions-my-own. To work with me, find me on MentorCruise. Oh, and subscribe so you don’t miss out on the next post.
Systems tend to perpetuate themselves, just like individual rarely opt to step back from power. Aftera ll, teams or circles of influence are systems, too.
The advantage of systems is that things get done, independent of individual decisions. Thes tatus quo ensures the status quo, just like your automatic habits make you get up, brush your teeth, get a shower and get dressed in the morning. No noe needs to think about how to do the usual things, and external disruptions are easily dealt with.
If the system works, that’s great. If you need change, it’s a serious problem.
That’s why change management feels so hard. Every single person agrees that something has to change, and they also agree that change cannot start with themselves.
System-lock-in is your main challenge in change-management.
It’s not that one guy who refuses to understand how change could benefit them.
It’s not those people in [insert department] who don’t want to acknowledge that times have changed and they need to try something new.
It is not a lack of willingness. It’s the established way of working, which is as hard to get rid of as a smoking addiction.
Willingness, willpower, and identity
You’ve heard me say it before:
Willpower is a finite resource.
You definitely need willpower to start a new habit, and you won’t have enough to keep going. Unless you rig the system in your favour.
Put the cookies on the top of the fridge (where you need to grap a chair first).
Change your phone to grayscale, or leave it in anotherroom.
Limit meetings to a maximum of 8 participants (everything else is a webinar).
Willingness is similar. Similar to willpower it is simply an intention. You are willing to try harderd - it’s not a commitment though. It’s an “I’ll try” situation. And if it didn’t work - well, you tried.
So how does that tie into identity?
Identity resists change almost 100% of the time. You could say that identity is its own system. That’s why your brain will use any explanation necessary - sometimes bending over backwards, to make sure what you do is aligned with how you think. It’s not just something flat-earthers do, we all handle cognitive dissonance (when data and expectation do not aline) very creatively.
Chances are that many of your employees have an identity that aligns with / depends on their role at work. Someone’s a lead engineer, an education specialist, the heart and soul of the office, the devil’s advocate. If you are something, then the way you act aligns with that identity.
And aligning your acts with your identity is stronger than willingness to change.
Managing identities
Obviously you can’t change the identity of other people - without their input. However you can improve the posibility of change by using language that acknowledges that identity.
How can you talk about necessary changes as a supporting activity instead of a threat to the existing identity?
Or, if someone requires a complete change in role: how can you support them in creating a new narrative, a new identity so to say.
When talking to your team members, to your employees, listen to how they describe themselves and their work.
For example, “I am a product manager” is different to “I manage this product.” The latter usually allows for an easier transition to new ways of managing the product, since it does not preclude the reality that there might be different ways of doing something.
And finally - how do you talk about your job? Are you a [role], or do you work on [a purpose]? How does that show up in your day to day conversations and how you embrace or defend against change?
This post was inspired by several discussions on how processes can (or cannot) shape human interaction. I’d love to hear your thoughts - reply to this email and you might spark another newsletter. And if you are looking for a mentor with a pragmatic approach, reach out via MentorCruise or get in touch directly.